Julie (carmine_pink) wrote in luminouspetals,

[fic: drabble] Last Christmas (I Gave You My Heart)

Title: Last Christmas (I Gave You My Heart)
Type: Drabble
Word count: 791
Rating: PG
Pairing: Yesung/Kyuhyun (Super Junior)
Summary: “But the very next day you gave it away. This year...”
Note: Inspired by K.R.Y.’s rendition of “Last Christmas”, of course.

Kyuhyun and Yesung’s first kiss was on Christmas Eve.

It wasn’t under the mistletoe; the members hadn’t had much time for decorating and only put up a small plastic Christmas tree in their dorm living room. So many people went in and out all night, Kyuhyun was worried he wouldn’t get any time alone with Yesung. But finally the last of the guests filed out, and the other members were either drunk or passed out. Kyuhyun wasn’t all that sober himself, but that provided the courage boost he needed to take Yesung’s hand and lead him to a secluded corner before pressing his mouth on his.

Yesung tasted like cinnamon, like a sweet reward Kyuhyun got for being such a good boy. He didn’t quite remember how long the kiss lasted, or what he said after, whether he used the word ‘like’ or ‘love’ (he hoped it was the former; ‘love’ sounded too serious, a bit desperate). But what made that moment memorable was Yesung’s response. His eyes were on the floor as he mumbled, “Sorry.”

Kyuhyun just stood there, unsure of what that meant, but Yesung made it clear by adding, “I can’t, Kyuhyun. I’m sorry.”

Hurt and embarrassed, Kyuhyun backed away with the intention to mope in the privacy of his room, but Shindong appeared behind him and insisted that he and Yesung partake in another round of drinks. The other members somehow revived themselves enough to join in. Kyuhyun took whatever they gave him, wishing he could drown the memory of that night with alcohol, while Yesung stood in the sidelines, tight-jawed and silent.

Afterward they both acted like the confession had never happened. Kyuhyun thought it would make things easier, but of course it didn’t. They spent months avoiding each other’s eyes, using the other members as shields, steering clear of each other’s company. More than once Kyuhyun had to deflect Leeteuk’s questions of what was wrong. Leeteuk probably asked Yesung too, but Kyuhyun didn’t care what he said. Kyuhyun no longer cared. Or tried not to.

He kept trying for months and months. Performing as K.R.Y. was a particular torture. He never looked to his right, always only interacting with Ryeowook. Poor Ryeowook, he was so frustrated. “What’s the matter with you two?” he cried out. Neither of them answered, each looking the other way.

Kyuhyun thought he might’ve felt better if Yesung had at least told him why. But he hadn’t, and Kyuhyun had been too humiliated to ask. Time passed and it became even harder to look back and try to figure out why, why, why.

Before he knew it another year was around the corner, another Christmas was knocking at their door. K.R.Y. were spending Christmas Eve in Japan after wrapping up their concerts, and Ryeowook was babbling about going out to see the Christmas lights. They set out on a walk with the managers, staff and band members, all bundled up in winter layers.

Kyuhyun had a thick coat on but soon realized he should’ve worn a scarf as well; the cold was quickly seeping down his neck. He turned up his collar and wrapped it close to his face. Looking forward, he noticed he’d fallen behind from the group and couldn’t see them in the crowd. While contemplating whether he should go after them or head back to the hotel, Kyuhyun scanned the sights around him. Couples were walking in pairs, parents holding their children’s hands.

And then he caught a familiar face, deep-set eyes, cotton candy hair. Their gazes met like they never had for about a year, and now in this foreign land they sought each other, drawn together like a moth to a fire.

Yesung stepped closer and asked, “Did you lose them too?”

Kyuhyun nodded. Yesung stared at him with furrowed brows, and then he took off his woolen shawl and draped it around Kyuhyun’s neck. They were so close the white puffs of their breath mingled. Kyuhyun’s mouth went dry.

Yesung’s hand was still holding one end of the shawl as he struggled to speak. “Kyuhyun-ah, I’m sorry—”

Kyuhyun stopped him with a shake of the head. “Not sorry,” he said. “Anything but sorry.”

“I was stupid,” Yesung mumbled, just audible enough under the noise of the crowd. “I was an idiot and a coward, and I hurt you. I probably don’t deserve a second chance, but if I... if you...”

His voice wavered, but Kyuhyun had heard enough. He took Yesung’s hand and led him to a secluded alley before pressing his mouth on his. Yesung tasted sweet and sour, like a long overdue reward.

“Don’t let me down again,” Kyuhyun whispered against his lips.

One hand threading Kyuhyun's hair, Yesung whispered back, “Never.”
Tags: #drabble, c: kyuhyun, c: yesung, fanfic, g: super junior, p: yesung/kyuhyun, r: pg, t: slash
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